Hello, my dear friend.
Today I’m here to present a new blog post in front of you to discuss how to deal with our relationships properly. In the previous post “Can You Always Accept Others?” we discussed that our relationships are the base of our feelings and our expectations are the base of our relationships. We also learned that how our expectations create grief in our relationships.
In this episode, we will discuss a proper way to deal with our relationships properly.
But, before going to the main episode, I request you to subscribe this blog by clicking on the bell icon at the bottom right corner of the screen and then click on the allow button to get all the notifications and updates of this blog.
Let us come to the main episode.
As the expectation is the base of our relationship, so we cannot build up any relation without expectation. Can you do so? This is the main cause of creating conflict in our relationship. But there are three different ways to drive away all the conflicts from our relationships forever. Do you know the ways?
The ways are very simple. Let us discuss the ways in detail.
Now the question arises, how it is possible?
Is it very difficult to understand? Okay, let me make it clear through an example.
Let me know,
Do you love your wife?
Your answer may be “yes” as she tries her best to fulfill all your expectations. Is not it?
But if she fails to fulfill your expectation someday, your answer to this question (Do you love your wife?) may be converted to “no” from “yes”. Have I said correctly?
But can you love your wife only because she is your wife? It would not be a matter whether she could fulfill all your expectations or not. You have to love your wife only because she is your wife.
Just think about the above example. What have you done here? In this case, you are not using your relationship with your wife as the way to fulfill your expectation. Is not it?
The gist of the above explanation is, you have to accept that, your relationship is the main base of your relationship.
If you can accept this formula and apply it to your life, then your life will be filled up with peace and happiness. Is it not true? Judge it yourself.
When you do not acknowledge other’s thoughts and actions and tries to make a change in the other, the conflict begins.
Hence, if you can control your expectations and change your judgments, then there is another way to drive away the conflicts from your relationship.
The way is:
That means you have to change the way of your action according to the situation without changing your goal.
When two persons come closer to one another to make a relationship, they create a boundary of expectation for one another.
When one of them crosses this boundary unknowingly, another becomes angry. When one person creates a boundary of expectation for the other, he does not allow the other to take any decision. He tries to impose his own decision on the other. Actually, he denies the other’s independence.
When you deny someone’s independence, he becomes sad and when he crosses his limit, you become angry. Hence the conflict begins.
But there is a way to solve this problem. The way is:
You have to respect other’s independence. But the question is
You have to accept the thoughts that if you have a right to take any decision in any case, then the other persons who are related to that case, have also the same right to take any decision. You have to accept the other’s decisions too if it is possible.
If you do so, then no boundary will be needed to build up any relationship. Hence, we can say, acknowledging other’s thoughts and actions is the real meaning of any relationship. Is it not true?
Can you control other’s thoughts? The answer is –”no.” Then how can you control other’s activities? Our activities are nothing but the results of our thoughts. But you can control your thoughts and actions. You just have to use this capability to build up your relationship with others. Is it very difficult?
We have to stop now as we have reached the last stage of this post. But there is still a question in my mind yet to be discussed.
The question is:
How can you change yourself according to the situation?
Do you have the answer to this question?
I must stop now with the hope of having a chance to meet you in the next post.